The Disconnect

We all know the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" right? This is very accurate and connects to my life in many ways. However, I do feel like it can get to a point where absence makes the heart plateau if things aren't done intentionally. I'll tell you this; studying abroad is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I literally had about 3 weeks to say goodbye to friends, family and to process my whole journey to the United States. Click here, to read my full story. Honestly, my siblings and I did not even have time to process it. I completed my first year of high school on August 02 2014 and I had to be in the US on August 14th at the latest. I found out I had gained admission to study abroad mid July. You can see how quick the transition was.

The thing about travelling to a new city or country for greener pastures or in my case education is, no one really prepares you for the disconnect. You are mostly worried about how you will adjust to the new place, the language, the food and the weather. Yes, I was worried about all these things but those would turn out to be the least of my problems. I knew I'd miss my friends and family but I guess I failed to realise that as the years went by here in the US, so did the years in Ghana go by. I failed to realise that as I made new friends here, so did my friends back in Ghana. I failed to realise that as I got older and had different thoughts and opinions, so did they. I failed to realise that as I bonded with relatives here, so did my family in Ghana.

I have had to be more intentional with my relationships back home because of the absence of the physical contact. Every summer, I feel as though I have to play "catch up". I missed important moments like my brother moving in to college, family weddings, my mother's 50th birthday party, my dad's huge milestones and many more. Deaths in the family are usually withheld from because according to them, they do not want me to worry or be sad. Actually, when I find out months later, it makes me feel left out and angry than sad. I miss out on family events, small moments and the simple luxury of hanging with my friends. This is the exact reason I do not take my summers for granted. I try to utilise as much of it as I can to gain lost time. However, I have accepted the fact that, I will always have to play "catch up" and I will most likely never catch up. That is the sad part about being abroad for so long. This is a part of the sacrifice I have made in order to achieve my goals. I cherish every single Whatsapp call and text. I cherish the numerous photos and videos I recieve from loved ones when they attend functions. I am sometimes jealous but I appreciate them.

I would like to take this moment to thank my friends who have rocked with me and still do even though we are thousands of miles apart. I am very grateful for the simple fact that we still keep in contact and our relationships are still intact although we may see each other only during the summers. Thank you for sticking with me and working with me to keep our friendships going. Thank you for keeping me updated with videos and photos and allowing me to live your important moments with you. Thank you for checking in on me. To my bestfriend Adwoa (yes, we have the same name), you have a special place in my heart. Thank you for allowing us to pick up right from where we stopped each time we are reunited. Thank you for the numerous voicenotes lol they make my day! I would mention everyone's names but let's just say it'll make this post twice as long. You know yourselves and I do not take our friendships for granted.

My Siblings

To my family, I know I am not the only one who feels the pain. I know my parents struggle to accept the fact that I am no longer the 15-year-old girl they said goodbye to at the airport years ago. They still want to treat me as such, but unfortunately, they have to let go a bit. To my siblings, I love you both. I know you feel as though you have lost a sister because you do not have as many memories with me as you do with each other. We can't blame anyone but the years that have gone by. I am not the same Adwoa you saw off at the airport years ago. I have evolved and so have you both. I am very glad we are able to make memories and bond each summer. We can hold on to those for now. I am glad distance has made us cherish our video calls, texts and audio messages more. I am glad we do not take the moments we have together for granted. I am very happy to have you in my corner all the time.

If you are a diasporan, believe me when I say I know your struggle. You see your friends go home to their family for school breaks or the weekends and you wish you had yours right by your side. I pray that feeling motivates you to chase after your dreams a bit harder. It will all be worth it. You may not be able to make up for lost time but once there is life, there is hope. You can create more memories and you will hold your loved ones closer each time you see them physically.

Thank you to my friends here in the US for always being solid rocks, inviting me home for holidays or family dinners, bringing me home cooked meals and more importantly, being a shoulder to cry on, literally.

Thank you for reading. I hope you learned something new today.

Until next time,

Be you, do you, stay you,

Adwoa.