The Inherent Need to Chase Perfection

Happy New Year! Happy 2021! Welcome back! I missed you all😚. Let's get right into it! Perfection is relative. What may be perfect to you, may not be to someone else. We live in a world of comparison. A world where happiness seems to be measured by physical possessions, romantic relationships, body size, image and so much more.

Most of the time, we tend to focus on what others have, rather than appreciating what we have and placing value on those things. Chasing perfection can actually lead you to achieving imperfection simply because perfection for someone else is not perfection for you.

As a society, we may have a "blanket" description of what perfection looks like. Honestly, not everyone is or will be that definition of perfect, so find yours!

Let me share something with you. For the longest time, I struggled with being the bigger sister- in size. I was tired of people saying "eeii you look older than your sister. You've taken her 'maturity', you're cheating her out of being the older one". I know being bigger than my sister yet younger than her didn't bother her; it didn't bother me until people started making it a big deal. Quite honestly I felt jealous because I wanted to be smaller and look like the "younger" sister that I am. I had to realize that I had things that she didn't have and people's comments made her feel bad for that. For example, I am more "flamboyant" in my clothing choices, yet she is more simple and "modest" maybe? In the beginning, people used to say that she needs to "shada", (Ghanaian slang for "slay/really dress up") like me.

If you've been part of this family for a while, you know that people now have issues with my "audacious" style because according to them a person of my size shouldn't dress that way.

(I know I always talk about my size but that's only because it's been made into such a huge deal).

I'm going somewhere with this, I promise. If I wanted to be perfect for them, who would I be? I would be this skinny girl without personality and self expression. I doubt I can get skinny and I don't want to anyway lol... Perfection to them clearly isn't perfection to me. I think I'm perfect the way I am. Granted, no one is perfect but in this context, please allow me to use perfect.

If my sister wanted to be their definition of perfect, she would be this person living as someone she truly isn't. So my point here is do you boo! People will have comments regardless. Chase YOUR definition of perfect because it is your life. I'm still bigger than her, yet she is more reasonable than I am lol, I dress more flamboyantly than she does but the girl can danceee - way better than me! I'm still bigger than her but she has the most responsibilities and pressure to set a good example for her younger siblings. I doubt that is any fun 😂

In the last few years, I really have embraced me for me, size and all although I'm working on it 😜. We all want to be perfect in the human eye but we should remember to stay true and not compare ourselves to others. It is good to admire other people and be motivated by them but we have to remember that we cannot be them!

In the same breath, let's not let other people's opinions of what we should be cause us to change and be untrue to ourselves.

You may be the only child who feels the pressure of being perfect and achieving everything your family wants for you. Remember that you have to do what you want to do. I know that isn't easy, trust me. I have African parents so I get it. You may not have the perfect life in their opinion but if it is perfect to you, then what's the problem? Most of the time, our parents project the future they wanted and couldn't have unto us anyway. It is up to you to fight against that and make them understand things from your point. You have to be responsible and work hard though because they will be waiting for you to "stumble" so they can say "I told you so!"

I believe chasing perfection is inherent and we cannot live without it. Let us just remember to be our authentic selves while doing it.

Bye y'all!

Until next time,

Be you, do you, stay you!

Adwoa